A Zombie's Point of View

    You always see movies and hear stories about flesh eating 

zombies and how as a human being you have to survive, get

 away blast those mother fuckers in the head. Why not right? A

 zombie can’t feel anything. Undead, smelly, rotting, disgusting,


Let me tell you something I am one of those undead freaks and 

weather it was a mutation, good jeans or just bad fucking luck I 

became a Zombie….with feelings. Unfortunately, I can’t talk to 

you because all you hear is “AAAAAHHHH, URG!” and a 

bunch of mumbled Zombie nonsense, which to the average 

citizen means, “I want to eat your brains!” So as I changed and 

reached out for help I got screams and dickpunched as well as 

hearing “Go get my shotgun!” to which I tipped the fuck out 

the door and moved on my merry zombie way.

My name is Eddie, yeah I know real funny but I am not as cool 

as Iron Maiden’s mascot. Now to say all Zombies are mean

flesh eating monsters would not be far from the truth. 

Something changes when you get bitten. The urge to chew the 

face off of that prick you hated working with, or the guy 

standing next to you for that matter is a little tough to deal 

with. It’s like an Alcoholic stuck in a bar with all the free booze 

you could wish for.  But some of us can control the urge. With 

the everyday dodging of bullets headed for your brain moving 

from town to town as fast s your rotting legs can take you, 

chowing down on the occasional animal or two and staying in 

the shadows away from the walking living, just trying to 

survive yourself, becomes exhausting. We always hear the 

stories of the living running, hiding and shooting the living 

dead, but you never hear about a Zombie just trying to get 

through the fucking day with a shriveled cock that no Viagra 

pill is going to help, Imagine watching two horny adults going 

at it and you can’t even wank one off? Fucking sucks people 

trust me. Trying to avoid the living?  This is my story. The 

everyday struggles of being a Zombie with a conscience in a 

world gone mad with fear of  flesh eating zombies trying to take 

a bite out your ass, or on my side the fear of Jimmy Bob 

shoving his gun up my ass to blow my brains out the long way. 

This is a diary of shit that happened to me. The stuff that went 

down before someone finally saved me from this cruel, cruel 

world. Damn I would love to be able to taste a taco one more 

time…..This is a 

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