You always see movies
and hear stories about flesh eating
zombies and how as a human being you have
to survive, get
away blast those mother fuckers in the head. Why not right? A
zombie can’t feel anything. Undead, smelly, rotting, disgusting,
shitbags.
Let me tell you something I
am one of those undead freaks and
weather it was a mutation, good jeans or just
bad fucking luck I
became a Zombie….with feelings. Unfortunately, I can’t talk
to
you because all you hear is “AAAAAHHHH, URG!” and a
bunch of mumbled Zombie
nonsense, which to the average
citizen means, “I want to eat your brains!” So
as I changed and
reached out for help I got screams and dickpunched as well as
hearing “Go get my shotgun!” to which I tipped the fuck out
the door and moved
on my merry zombie way.
My name is Eddie, yeah I know real funny but I am not as cool
as Iron Maiden’s mascot. Now to say all Zombies are mean
flesh eating monsters would not be far from the truth.
Something changes when you get bitten. The urge to chew the
face off of that prick you hated working with, or the guy
standing next to you for that matter is a little tough to deal
with. It’s like an Alcoholic stuck in a bar with all the free booze
you could wish for. But some of us can control the urge.
With
the everyday dodging of bullets headed for your brain moving
from town to
town as fast s your rotting legs can take you,
chowing down on the occasional
animal or two and staying in
the shadows away from the walking living, just
trying to
survive yourself, becomes exhausting. We always hear the
stories of
the living running, hiding and shooting the living
dead, but you never hear
about a Zombie just trying to get
through the fucking day with a shriveled cock
that no Viagra
pill is going to help, Imagine watching two horny adults going
at
it and you can’t even wank one off? Fucking sucks people
trust me. Trying to
avoid the living? This is my
story. The
everyday struggles of being a Zombie with a conscience in a
world
gone mad with fear of flesh eating
zombies trying to take
a bite out your ass, or on my side the fear of Jimmy Bob
shoving his gun up my ass to blow my brains out the long way.
This is a diary
of shit that happened to me. The stuff that went
down before someone finally
saved me from this cruel, cruel
world. Damn I would love to be able to taste a
taco one more
time…..This is a
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